Finding My Voice

Retreat

I haven't found my photography voice yet. People who look at my photos may begin to observe a style but to me, I haven't found my conviction, my voice. I KNOW I haven't found that voice.

My creativity ran stagnant for about 1 year, for too many reasons in life, valid or invalid. 'Retreat' is the first loved piece of the year and also from the first shoot of the year.

I had wanted to blog it earlier but had nothing to say. Well now I do - I just finished watching a short interview of Ryan Muirhead, a photographer.

His words has not only inspired me but he has put into words what I needed to hear. Here's what brought it home for me:

find your own voice...
and the only way to do that, is by working
you can't read up on it
you can't learn it
you can't absorb it from someone else
but if you are out there shooting... constantly
on good days
on bad days
when you are feeling creative
when you are not
carrying a tiny camera with you everywhere you go
wherever you are, anywhere, there is a beautiful photo you can take
maybe you don't have as many possiblities
maybe it's reduced to just using what's there in the best possible way
but there is always beautiful light there
if you do that... enough
your voice will find you
it's inevitable
- Ryan Muirhead, not just a Film Photographer.

For those who are interested in that interview, here's the link: http://www.framedshow.com/?p=469

Marbles

Marbles

I had wanted to share this quite sometime ago - In December last year, 2010, this photo became the winning entry of a casual online photo competition. The theme of the competition was "Festive". It won me a tiny Nikon digital pocket camera.

I took this during Christmas the previous year. There were candles and these beautiful strings of christmas decorations on the table. So I curled one up, used candle lights to light them up, propped my knees up while sitting on the chair (instant tripod) and shot away hand-held.

This was also one of my submissions for the 5th Annual Color Awards 2010, under the category Abstract.

Made a more Patient Person

Kito - taken by 100mm macro.

I never thought my next blog picture would be one of an animal. I cope better with macro and landscapes. I had the pleasure of doing a-ok during a dance shoot (humans) but moving living things just don't sit well with me. On a side note, I tried wildlife photography and haven't found the patience for it! Interest plays a huge part too but let's move on to the real blog message!

I realize I seldom blog... or blog on a regular basis. I also realized that it is because if I have nothing inspired to say, I won't write something for the sake of writing.

In the recent months, we have come to adopt an instant pet. Our neighbour's cat absolutely loves hanging around our house. And we love him. He has a great temperament and never gets upset, spray or misbehave.

Never have had any serious pet growing up but I just concluded (to myself) that pets helps the soul in many ways. I feel that having 'cat' around makes me a more gentle and patient person. Previously I would have doubted if I had the capacity to be so patient but now I can say I do! 'Cat' made me realize that!

For example, I came home from shopping one day and 'cat' received me at the door. I acknowledged him by saying 'hello' and patting him slightly but still busy with my bags of shopping. At the same time, he gave me this long long long meow. It made me laugh cos it was the longest and sounded like the most pitiful meow I have ever heard. I thought to myself "why cat, what's goin on?". It turns out, on hind-sight, that he was quite hungry that day and my partner had just put him outside.

Then he would poke his nose into each of my shopping bag. I din't shoo him away. It turns out he just wanted to check them out. He wasn't destructive or anything. Some other times, when I open the fridge, he would walk right up to sniff the bottles, food or whatever he can reach by poking his head right into the shelves. Again, I din't fret and said gently while I close the door on him "come on". He would turn around and again, nothing eventful happened. Many times though I wanted to react as he wasn't supposed to be in the shopping bags and fridge, but I chose to chill.

And did I mention he would meow at me constantly while I cook, hoping for food? I realized he'll try even if I tell him sternly "No!". So I chose to chill and tell him nicely "no... maybe later."

Pets are like kids. They really are except a whiny kid is much more annoying. But I feel good knowing that at least I have learnt to be patient with an animal.

So here's my heart-felt reflection and worth blogging I thought. Kito, the 'model' in this picture belongs to a mate. Here's to all pet owners who love and care for them so much. Here's to my future pet whatever it may be!!

Death of a Friendship

We are no more.

Some of us are very lucky to have a close friend - a very very good mate whom you share many things mutual and who loves you as much as you love him/her. This kind of unique friendship, chemistry and bond stays even if you don't talk all the time, sometimes over years... but nothing changes. I am very luckly to have a friend like that and can I just say that this kind of chemistry is very hard to encounter. I will treasure it forever.

There are always two sides of the coin. There are some you consider to belong to your inner circle of friends. You may not see each other often, but history makes this friend special. Then one day, something happen... or somethings said in a way under some situation, or just simply a flick of a switch in the head... everything changed.

Today I realised I not longer consider one such friend as a friend anymore. Perhaps the friendship was long gone and she was no longer a friend long before. But it's the realisation that you no longer regard this person as labeled 'friend' in your dictionary that is surreal.

I am not terribly upset actually just surprised I feel this way. I woke up today having remembered a picture I had taken last year, titled "We are no more".

Like the life cycle of a rose, she goes through the beautiful stages of bloom. Every photographer likes perfect untainted roses. I refuse to think the end stage of a rose's life be any less just because it's visually unpleasing and this picture proves it.

"We are no more" speaks to the death of a friendship. I will remember the older times but it's good to know where I stand now.